Falling Toward Apothnitosis

As I convalesce I've decided to resurrect this canvas on which to etch my thoughts.

Yesterday I had surgery. An experience to say the least.

From changing into the oh so flattering hospital gown, slippers, and head covering to waking up in post-op.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I had never had surgery before much less an IV inserted into my hand. When the nurse inserted the IV there was the slightest of pokes and then a rising coolness throughout my left arm that then became a gurgling in my shoulder. I could feel the fluid then spread to my chest and the rest of my body in a wave of cool. At the same time I broke into a cold sweat which was an extremely odd experience.

Sitting there on the medical table with Natalie by my side holding my arm the cold sweat and admittedly anxiety faded. Other patients were getting various forms of anesthetic and fluid IVs put in them in the other "stalls" around me. Interestingly 3 of them were having nerve blocks done to work on shoulders and knees. One very large muscular man who was going to have a shoulder worked on started freaking out before the Dr. even inserted the needle to attempt the nerve block. Within a few minutes he was out and snoring up a storm. It was amusing and helped to take my mind off my impending oblivion. Having to have the surgery didn't bother me- being put under did.

The anesthetists came by and described what would be done to me- general sedation with local anesthetic on the area being repaired. One was a larger male doctor who looked as though he might have played football as an undergrad. The other was a tall, skinny female doctor wearing a burnt orange head covering and possessing a deep practiced voice. She would be the one to put me under. I asked her if I would be aware of the operation. She replied by shaking her head and pursing her lips in a doubtful frown... "No, most people are snowed by the time they get to the operating room"

After my surgeon came by and confirmed what they would be doing and marking the side of my body that it would be done on (I had already written a big "YES" on the left side of my body so there would hopefully be no working on something other than what was to be worked on) things moved quickly. A nurse came in with the female anesthetist and introduced herself. The doctor had a syringe and I felt anxiety creeping back at the fact that I was about to be completely out of control with myself. They said "Ready?" I said "I love you Natalie" and they began to wheel me away.

As they rolled me the doctor put the syringe into one of the soft receptacles on the IV inserted into my hand and added about half the contents of it into my arm.

As with the IV I felt the strange sensation of liquid moving up my arm and then into my chest and then this time my head as I started to feel rummy. I forced myself to look around as we turned a corner down another hallway and was just about to ask which room we were going to... and that's all I remember.

I began waking up comfortable lying down, aware of a nurse talking to me and tubes in my nose. She asked if I was ok and I croaked softly that I was- and I was. I asked were I was and if the surgery had been done yet. She said it was all over. Even groggy I was astounded that it was over and I had no memory, no inkling of what had been done to my body other than the some pressure and slight pain where the work had been done.

My surgeon came by and said everything had gone well, that I was going to be fine, and that they had me in post-op because I was a little sleepy. Whether that means I didn't come out of sedation as soon as they thought I would I don't know. Nevertheless I was fine.

They moved me to the recovery area where Natalie and Dave came in smiling. Dave was wearing a blue dress shirt, tie, and slacks... he looked sharp just off The Hill. I think I've only ever seen Dave in climbing wear before. Ha!

Natalie of course looked beautiful and it was great to see her. I was surprised at how lucid I was. There was pain and I was tired but I was thinking clearly. Dave went to get his car as I got dressed and the Nat and I walked out of the hospital.

What an experience.

Despite the harsh year that has passed here in DC the past month has shown me that there are good people to find here. Ms. Chin who took us to the hospital. Dave. Krista who made us baked Ziti, a Caeser salad, and cookies for my night after surgery.

No bouldering for awhile. No climbing at all.

This the day after surgery is filled with pain but that will pass with time. Pain is temporary.

And so apparently is the hatred of this place and its people within me.